Everybody keeps telling me that I should get my life sorted before I am 25. I feel like I am running out of time. How can a person who hasn’t been able to find her place in the world yet, supposed to get a job, earn enough to run a household AND get married in a span of four years? Why does nobody seem to get that it’s not so easy anymore? It might have been, once upon a time, but I am sick of hearing that ‘this is the make-or-break period’ in my life.”
For some reason, EVERYBODY seems to be hell-bent on the fact that I should have my life sorted by the time I’m in my mid-twenties. Now that I am out of grad-school, someone or the other very “subtly” tries to bring in the topic of my occupation, or marriage into the conversation. As if I don’t have enough to figure out already!
And if you have heard this too, welcome to the club!
We’re probably all twenty-somethings and are still trying to understand just how on Earth does anybody function in the society, keep up our grades while battling crippling depression, anxiety and stress at at the same time, do about a million internships to land a job that requires minimum 3 years of experience for people who have just completed their studies, earn— possibly even pay off our student loans (Hello, to my friends across the world), or maybe we’re just trying to live a little before we can take up too many responsibilities, all at once!
It all sounds so scary! Am I right, or am I right?
So, here it is, you guys. I get it. I get it big time! I, for one, have the living daylights scared out of me by just contemplating this.
You don’t necessarily have to cross the milestones that your parents did when they were about your age. Times change, people get buried neck-deep in goals they need to achieve before they can “settle down”.
It’s completely fine if you need a little more time to figure what you want to do in your life. It is, after all, your own life. Everyone is different. Unique. And we all grow at our own pace. You’re all right where you’re supposed to be right now. Just take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re doing okay and you’re going to get what you want in life. And mean it.
I think most of our worries about keeping up with every one of our age comes from constant comparison.
“X topped his classes, again! You should start studying like them.”
“Y started working in *a big company* and has started earning *a big amount* right away! You should earn so much, too!”
“Even Z got married and has a child now! Are you going to think about it atleast now?’
“When we were about your age, we had a job, we were married, had our own apartment, and we also had you! You’re lagging behind. Stop slacking, maybe?”
The ONLY thing I want to tell you guys is this— please don’t ever compare your successes to your friends’ successes. They might be on a world tour right now, doing amazing things, while you’re still trying to get there. And that is okay. You will. Just remember to never lose sight of your goals, no matter how far they seem.
You’re still going to be just as happy with your first ever paycheck, no matter when you get it. The satisfaction of completing your education is going to wash over you like a wave, even if you plan to graduate at forty. You’ll still be excited when you learn something new at the age of sixty.
And parents, if you’re reading this and still forcing your kids to achieve the goals that you did when you were our age, please stop. It’s not healthy to rush anybody’s growth without affecting their personality or health.
Just. Grow. In. Your. Own. Pace.
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