So many people make it out to be a flaw if a person isn’t comfortable in overly social settings. They deliberately try to taunt or guilt people into socializing knowing fully well that this isn’t something that they are comfortable doing. The problem lies here: in not respecting people’s boundaries and demanding that they break their walls down for you, just because you said so.
The problem lies here: in calling something that is just normal for some people ‘a flaw’ just because you don’t understand why socializing, and being out and about regularly can mentally drain people. It’s just one of those things that makes human beings different from each other.
Calling people out on their introverted-ness and telling them that they’re so dull and not fun to hang around only proves that your perspective of the world is so limited that you are unable to accept that there are people who do not enjoy the same things as you do. And telling people that ‘they just need to give it another chance’ at the cost of their own mental well-being doesn’t earn you points at being a good friend to them.
When people tell me that they’re uncomfortable in extremely social settings, it makes sense to me because I understand how taxing it can be. On the other hand, I, too, have been forced to socialized just so that I wouldn’t seem too rude to others.
At some point, it used to feel like there is something wrong with me and that I need to fix it. But years of unlearning have taught me that it isn’t a flaw to not want to turn your social battery on just because people might get offended if you didn’t go put yourself out there and plaster fake smiles on your face all day long.
And guilting people into doing something definitely does not work. It’s counter-productive and not very nice.
And hey, if you’re one of the people who cannot handle social settings very well, let me remind you that it’s perfectly okay to handle things differently than others. Maybe avoiding a situation or a setting isn’t always possible, but asserting your boundaries always is.
Never push yourself in situations you’re not comfortable with. You always come first. Xx