I am no stranger when it comes to pushing people away when I am not in the right headspace to talk things out, you know, like a rational person would. I, too, am guilty of shutting myself out and not allowing myself to talk about the things I’m going through, because I always feel as though my problems should not be anybody else’s concern. It always seems to me as though I’m burdening my friends with the things I’m going through.
But, when the roles are reversed and I am in a situation where I am concerned about the things my own friends are going through, I would much rather they told me something, if not all of it. I think that’s where the entire problem lies: we all think that it is unfair for us to expect our friends to be here for us when we’re going through a rough patch, but we do hope to be there for them because we care.
Is that unfair to both parties? Of course, it is.
I cannot speak for the people in our lives, but I know that when we’re going through something, and we feel as though we need to take a few hours or perhaps a couple of days for ourselves, we shouldn’t always assume that people will be better off if we didn’t tell them what we were going through. There is always a chance that we might end up hurting the people we care about more by not confiding in them, than we would by actually letting them know what situation we’re in.
The thing is, we’re all always finding ways to run away from communicating properly because we find ourselves in a headspace that isn’t always ideal for communication itself. But it feels like there needs to be a little more of it when it comes to people we care about because people are not always going to stick around every time you push them away. It is important to acknowledge that certain relationships in our lives are only as strong as the foundations they stand upon.
Of course, our first instinct every time something happens to us is to talk to our friends about it. But how about we try not pushing them away for a change? Let’s not assume what their reactions to our situations would be, and let’s accept that we need someone to talk to, at times. We’re all just human, anyway. It’s not a crime for us to want someone to lean on when the going gets rough.
It’s okay to let people into our bubbles and walls sometimes. Of course, none of us can ever determine how things would go, but I truly do think that if people care, you should allow yourself to let down your walls for them. Even if only by a little bit.
So why don’t we try to let ourselves be cared for? Just for once? Xx