Not to add to another one of those 2021 recap posts that I’m pretty sure you’ve already seen plenty of by now, but let me add just one more to that pile because I have a lot to say.
This year has been an incredibly conflicting one for me; the highs being dizzying and the lows being more suffocating than I could have ever imagined. But life goes on, you know? In the midst of everything I am grateful for whatever I have managed to achieve and for all the moments that I could live without the dread of tomorrow looming over my head.
Most of all, I found myself reeling from a lot of bad days and I don’t remember most of what happened this year because of it but I do remember the important things that have happened for me and that is what matters the most.
One of the biggest lessons I have learned this year is to never force anything to happen. It will happen in its own time if that is what is supposed to. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, of course. But sometimes, it is okay to just do whatever best we can at the moment. Sometimes, doing our best just means doing what we are capable of in that moment, and not what we could do when we are at our best.
I’ve also learned to take things one step at a time and not jump to conclusions this year. Just as important as it is to let things happen on their own, it is important to have patience and trust the process of things. It might not always take the path you had in mind. And despite all the plans you make, something is bound to go awry. Something always gets left behind. But that’s just life. You get to make the best of what you have with you at the moment.
In my pursuit of milestones in this year, I have put my own well-being aside and I wish that nobody makes that mistake because it doesn’t hit you until much, much later and it is pretty much one of the worst feelings anybody should ever have to experience. The lack of motivation and creativity is absolutely terrible and I am glad I am trying to work past that currently.
Anyway, all the sad, heavy things aside, this year also brought me a lot of wonderful things.
I have not only published my first book this year, but I have also submitted the draft for my second, and my third book is currently in the works right now. So, I am pretty sure that more of my books will be hitting your shelves pretty soon. I am very grateful for the love and support that everyone has shown me during the process. I hope that my upcoming books will receive the same, if not a bigger, response and I am just really glad to have this achievement in my bag knowing how many years it has been in the making.
I am also taking away a lot of wonderful memories and lessons from this year; the most important one being that I am allowed to take a break when I am feeling drained instead of pushing myself to do something I am not really in the headspace for. I think that a lot of problems stem from the fact that we are only told to ‘get ourselves together and keep going’ when we really cannot. Sometimes, we need to fall apart to get ourselves together later.
This has been a year of learning to leave things behind because they were no longer healthy to keep around. It’s something I wish I had done a lot sooner because I didn’t realize how much of it was wearing me down. There are things that we may love but when they start wearing us out, we need to understand that nothing is good in excess, not even what we’re truly passionate about.
Everything in moderation. That’s my takeaway for this year.
That, and the fact that I shouldn’t give myself a hard time for being in a slump; it only adds to the stress. I cannot change what has already happened, and I have no control over things that are going to happen in the future, no matter how much I plan. So why shouldn’t I just enjoy what is right in front of me?
As for tomorrow, I have no big plans. I have no big resolutions. I am just going to take this whole new-year-new-me thing one day at a time. It’s an unpredictable world out there and the only thing I can control is what’s right in front of me. Everything else is either supposed to be cherished or is as volatile as can be.
Happy New Year, with all the chaos it might bring. Xx