Things You Need To Stop Giving Yourself A Hard Time For.

It’s finally, finally May, after what seemed like the longest month, maybe ever! And boy, do I have a ton of content planned for this month!

When I was busy writing for NaPoWriMo, I was also talking to my best friend Kriti (Kittu’s Modern Mixtape) about a bunch of things spanning across various topics and I just thought that it was high time I went back to writing things that actually made some sort of a difference. We have a few collaborations coming up, this month, and a lot of things that I have been meaning to say when I finally found the time.

There’s no reason for me to sugarcoat anything right now, is there?

We’re collectively going through an incredibly, horrifyingly stressful time and it would be a lie to say that everything going on around us, especially in these trying times, hasn’t taken a toll on every aspect of our health. We don’t feel as motivated as we once used to, we’re exhausted in every way possible, stressed out even more because of how uncertain things are right now and, honestly? Very much done!

And I realized that we’re turning all that pent-up frustration onto ourselves and it’s wearing us out even more. No matter how many times we try to deny that, we are, in fact, trying to hang on to whatever thread is keeping us together at the moment. I’m not sure it’s the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves.

I’m not here to tell you that what you’re doing is invalid, but I do want you to know that there are things you need to stop blaming yourself for.

1. LACK OF MOTIVATION.

That, my friend, isn’t your fault.

It’s all fun and games for the first few weeks when you’re trying to find ways to keep motivating yourself with whatever little you have access to, in that moment, but at some point, you’re going to run out of things to be motivated by. And I just want you all to know that it happens. It happens more than we would ever like for it to happen. But motivation is directly related to how you’re feeling right now, and if you’re not feeling motivated enough, it probably just means that you need to take a break and focus on yourself for a bit.

I’ve seen my friends and I struggle to stay as motivated as we once used to, and as frustrating as it can be to feel this lack of direction hitting you at the times when you need it the most, please know that this isn’t your fault and you just need to step back and let the motivation come to you.

2. A BAD ATTENTION SPAN.

Well, first of all, a short attention span isn’t a bad thing. It’s just something we’ve been told because others couldn’t handle our energy. In a lot of cases, a short attention span cannot be helped and it is definitely not something about yourself that you need to ‘fix’. You’re not broken!

Also, if your short attention span is something you’ve been noticing lately, it’s probably because there is too much happening around you and your brain is trying to process way too much, too fast. At some point, it’s going to stop processing things altogether until you spend 30 minutes straight staring at a blank wall, or two hours straight obsessively cleaning your room because you found one small speck of dust in the corner of your room.

Let yourself breathe!

Out of everything, I think that this one is really important because I remember getting whacked by teachers until my back was marred with angry, red, swollen handprints, all because I was a little too energetic as a child, and I don’t think I ever want another person out there thinking that a short attention span is something that needs to be fixed. You’re alright. Please do not give yourself a hard time over this.

3. EXHAUSTION. OF ANY KIND!

First of all, why would you give yourself a hard time over being exhausted?

Right now, as we’re all stuck at home and unable to actually go out there (not that some of us are complaining!), our bodies and our minds are working overtime, even if you’re doing nothing at all. There is just too much going on and it has messed our sleep cycles up, and it has messed us up really badly. At such a time, instead of giving yourself the time and the space to actually process things at your own speed, if you’re giving yourself a hard time for feeling exhausted all the time, you need to stop.

I get that there are still things that need to be done and tasks to be finished. But maybe try being nicer to yourself about it and let yourself sleep as much as you need to. Your health is more important, and I hope you don’t push yourself too hard.

4. LACK OF PRODUCTIVITY.

I’ve said this a hundred times before and I’ll say it again, but please stop measuring your self worth in terms of how productive you’ve been lately. I’m sure there are people learning new things and trying their hand at something they’ve never done before. But if you’re not in the right headspace to do that, just don’t. Do whatever makes you feel at ease. Work with whatever healthy coping mechanism works best for you.

I see all these wonderfully talented people giving themselves such a hard time over not having been productive enough in the last few months and it makes me wonder just how much we have glorified the hustle culture, and how deep we are in it right now, to even call something as normal as going through a slump, a ‘problem’.

It’s not a problem. It’s nothing you need to ‘fix’ and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.

5. YOUR APPEARANCE IN GENERAL.

SIGH.

I cannot stress this enough. If you’re reading this, then you know that your body is currently working overtime to keep you alive and breathing. You’re allowed to eat whatever you want, minus all the guilt, right now because you need it. You deserve it. Giving yourself a difficult time over the way your appearance has changed over the course of the last few months is just so mean. Your body changing appearance and looking different from before is normal. Constantly telling yourself that you’re not good enough just because you don’t look the way you want to, right now, is just unhealthy.

Bodies come in all shapes, sizes and colours and they work differently sometimes as well. You’re not supposed to look like a Photoshopped magazine cover. Wanting to be healthy is one thing, but being hard on yourself because you haven’t had the energy to work out is just unacceptable. Be nicer to yourself.

And in spite of everything I said here, I know that there are always going to be exceptions, situations you can’t avoid and several other things.  But I just want you all to know that it is okay to seek out help if you feel like you’re losing too much of yourself to something. There is no shame in admitting that you need help and asking for it. So please don’t be unnecessarily hard on yourself.

You’re all doing the best you can right now, and exhaustion is something that comes with it. And with exhaustion, come a handful of other things that you’re probably not a big fan of. Just know that this happens, and it isn’t always easy to understand why. But fatigue that comes from working your brain too much is a very, very real thing.

Be kinder to yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back. You’re doing so well.

Yours truly,
The Shubhster. Xx

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Featured Image by Kevin Hendersen on Unsplash