It has been such a terrible day. I have been sighing deeply every two minutes, for the last five hours or so.
My allergies started acting up and I have been sneezing the entire day, which miraculously stopped after a big bowl of noodles swimming in soy sauce and chilli sauce. But in spite of not having the best day, I started working on a really beautiful sketch and it could have been my best yet, but of course, things just don’t seem to be in my favour today.
My laptop crashed, somewhere around the time I was working on layer 15 and I assumed it would have been autosaved or something, but it had not been. I lost 4 hours of work and I had no backup.
It’s really heartbreaking to see so much of your effort just disappear into nothing, right in front of your eyes. Especially when it is something that you were extremely proud of.
So, I spent another four hours working on everything from the scratch and I haven’t made enough progress on the sketch, yet. I don’t think I’m getting anywhere with it today, but it’s not going to stop me from trying, regardless.
The reason this was so annoying to me is because I don’t use a stylus to sketch. It’s just me and my trusty old computer mouse, so it takes really, really long to work on the finer details. But I do a fair job of it regardless and I don’t find it as hard as I should. Another reason is that I don’t do the whole ‘use a reference image’ thing because most of my artworks are just dreamscapes I’ve had. I may use a little reference here and there, but never for the entire thing. Which is why the loss of my progress hit me so hard today.
We often do this thing where we lie to ourselves that we can just remember things instead of actually writing them down or saving it somewhere, so that we can get back to the idea when we really want to. But we know it’s not going to happen.
It’s like that one 3AM idea that you scribble down that just doesn’t make sense to you in the morning, but, like, a hundred times worse because you know what the idea was and it looked good in your head, but now there’s nothing. Not even a whisper of it left.
I mean, I know this isn’t an excuse for not writing anything worthwhile today, but I really am tired after all the effort I put into that sketch. But hopefully, if I get over my obsession to complete that sketch in a single day, I will come up with better content for this blog tomorrow.