Vicious.

I feel like we’re all caught in this vicious cycle.

We can’t get out. We can’t do anything about it from where we currently stand except expressing our outrage. We can’t even talk about it from the fear of being shut down every single time.

And the worst of them all, the fear and the exhaustion that comes from repeatedly being misunderstood even though we have made plenty clear that we are not going to change our minds about something that we actually like. There is only so much that you can say or do before you decide that it is just not worth your time or energy anymore.

Does that mean giving up on something we care about? No.

What it does mean is that we would rather hold on to our voice, our energy and whatever little is left of our quickly- dwindling patience so that we can put them to better use and actually focus on the things we like. It’s not exactly giving up so much as it is being let down one too many times because your side of the story keeps going unheard, no matter how many times you try to fight for what you want.

And sometimes we all get worn out by those same arguments, those same words that we have been through way too many times to even count. It seems to solve nothing, so we just find ourselves withdrawing into ourselves more and more until we are afraid to let anybody in at all.

Maybe it’s better that way. But then I think about how no amount of journaling and no amount anxiety-filled feet tapping ever amounts to an actual conversation where people are actually willing to hear you out and it sends a whole new wave of frustration because how on earth does anybody seem to find middle-ground? And what is the meaning of middle-ground at all?

What is the point of there being a middle-ground if you know you’re just losing the same fight over and over?

So, we do what we do best and just decide that, no, raising voices and civilized conversations aren’t going to work. And the next thing we know, we’re gravitating towards what we’re meant to be doing anyway. There’s not much that can stop you from doing the things you want, but obstacles are very, very real and they cannot be underestimated, no matter how hard you work.

So, it’s okay for you to feel as though this cycle is not going to end or break anytime soon because there hasn’t been any progress lately. But the key to breaking any sort of cycle is to keep trying until it has been done.

Nothing good ever came out of giving up anyway.

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Featured Image by Andrew Seaman on Unsplash