Yesterday, I picked up my old guitar and started practicing plying on it again. And for the first time after what felt like ages, I felt as though I went exactly going to spiral into despair. I couldn’t do that to myself because I’ve got a lot going for me right now, even though things are going to be difficult for a while now. And today, I picked up my paintbrush and brought out my painting kit again, and once again, it feels like I’m breathing easier now.
A lot of things can trigger us in ways we cannot imagine and sometimes, they drive us into isolating ourselves, even if it means that we isolate ourselves from our preferred hobbies, or sometimes, our own thoughts. I know how it gets. It’s just too loud inside our heads for us to go about our lives like we usually would. So, that little bit of comfort that we would hold on to goes away as well. It’s the kind of low that we fear we’ll never make it out of, but we still do. Every single time.
And how’s that? It’s because we find ways to channel our pent-up grief somewhere or the other, in ways that calm us down. For me, that’s art. That’s how I’ve been trying to let my emotions out in ways that won’t hurt anybody, myself included. That is the most important thing here— knowing that you need to include yourself when you’re thinking about all those who could be affected by your actions. We might not see it because we’re too busy focusing on all the noise in our heads, but trust me, it’s not healthy.
Every time I’ve felt as though I was slipping away from myself, I’ve turned to art because it has always helped me retrace my way back to myself. It doesn’t always have to art, either. You might have something or someone else who could make you feel tethered to yourself when you find yourself drifting away. I only hope that we all find it in ourselves to somehow take a deep breath and go back to what makes us, well, us. You’d be surprised how easy it can be to disconnect and isolate yourself simply because you don’t want to deal with something right now.
We keep putting things away for later because we don’t think we can tackle them head-on, but our problems don’t vanish over time. Instead, they keep piling up and snowball until we eventually get buried under them. That, believe me, is not a situation you’d want to land yourself in. Every time you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, remember that things can always get worse, even and especially when you don’t want them to. That is why knowing that you have that one thing, which allows you to channel all of your frustration, is important.
It doesn’t have to be big or deep to make you feel better. You know how candies help you feel better when you’re having a bad day? Yeah, same principle. So every time you think you don’t feel like yourself anymore, try retracing back to the version of you that makes you the happiest. We all have hard times, you know? But knowing that something could help make us feel better is definitely the kind of comfort we could use more of.
Remember this: you are not your problems; they’re keeping you from being who you’re actually supposed to be.
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