We all talk about friends who have been by our side all along, being a constant and endless source of love and appreciation. What we don’t talk about friendships that don’t fade away with time. The friends who have always been here and you know that they’ll always be, even though you haven’t kept in touch for a while. Sometimes, these two kinds of friends are found in the same person. I say this because I have the tendency to shut people out on days that I am not feeling particularly good about things, but my friends still stuck around.
Of course, everybody talks about how good friends lend a shoulder to cry on, but we don’t really talk about friends who understand your need for space. Friends who understand that what you need at that moment is not a shoulder to cry on or somebody who will listen to you talk, but somebody who will just let you be on your own until you’re ready to talk about it if that’s what you really want. It’s the bare minimum, but it’s nice to have people who understand your need for space. I don’t think I realized how important it is until this evening.
I’ve always been the kind of friend who would patiently wait for my friends to come and talk to me about what they’re going through. Of course, I try to check in with them every now and then, just to make sure they’re okay, but if space is what they need, I’ve respected that because I’ve found myself in that very place a lot of times. And before anybody says that talking about it helps, you’re right. Maybe it does, to some extent. But in the end, everyone has a different way of processing things and it’s important to let them cope the way they want to.
The best part about all of this is that I know that even after everything we go through, we still have each other. I know that my best friends won’t wake up one fine day and decide to walk out on me, just as much as I know that I’d never bail on them. It’s a wonderfully healthy equation to share with the people in your life. It feels great to have people who I know will lend me an ear when I need somebody to talk to, but I’m also very grateful that these are the kind of people who would just sit with me and share a comfortable silence.
A couple of years ago, if my friends had gone radio silent for a while, I would have definitely been worried to the point of sending them multiple texts to make sure they’re okay. But over time, I have started to understand that people do need to take a break from things every now and then and they don’t have to explain themselves if they don’t want to. Because at the end of the day, the only people you’d want around you are the ones who could sit with you on a rooftop and look at the stars above, even if no words are exchanged. That is something to cherish forever.
I know how badly it sucks that we cannot give our best friends the hugs they deserve, right now. But let them know how much they mean to you, even if you do it every single day. You shouldn’t have to wait for a ‘Friendship Day’ to send ghost hugs to your friends.
The Shubhster. Xx