When It Gets Too Loud.

“Today just happens to be one of those days when I would rather log out of all of my social media accounts, turn off my phone and toss it aside because it is way too loud inside my head and the idea of disappearing without a trace is looking a whole lot appealing to me, at the moment. But if there is one thing that I have learned, in general, it is that running away and shutting the world out isn’t going to solve anything for me. And while that may suck, it just means that I need to give myself a break so that I can take a breath and make sense of all these really loud voices in my head that are yelling “You’ll never be good enough” and “That will never be you” at the top of their lungs. It just means that in spite of the brave face so many of us put on, a part of us will always be vulnerable, insecure and scared for reasons that can never be explained to their fullest depth. But you know what? It’s totally valid to feel that way because so many of us are just tired of putting on a brave face; sometimes, we just have to kick, scream, cry and let all that pent-up negativity out. Holding it all in is just going to take a toll on us, emotionally. Personally, I find myself sleeping a lot more when I’m holding things back and not letting myself cry. Some people get easily irritated when they’re holding things inside like that. It works differently for everybody, but I’ve noticed how it never turns out well when all those pent-up emotions finally come lashing out. I’ve ended up saying things that I don’t mean to people I’d never want to hurt, and they didn’t deserve any of my baggage. And I have to admit, it takes a lot of time to work past that because you’re so used to holding your thoughts and emotions all to yourself, it’s almost as though you’ve convinced yourself that it is okay to suffer all alone. It doesn’t have to be that way for any of us, but I know how difficult it is to admit that you need an outlet. It’s only human. The point is that no matter how impossible things look for us at the moment, it shouldn’t stop any of us from looking for a way to turn them around in our favour. It doesn’t matter how small your first step is. All progress is progress and I hope we were more welcoming of that. So, just in case you feel a little out of it and suffocated today, this is a reminder that you’re not alone in this. It doesn’t make things okay, by a huge margin, but it’s something to hold on to and I think that we can all use that. As for anything that you’ve been holding back, find a way to let it out before things get ugly beyond fixing.”

Featured Image by Tolga Ulkan on Unsplash

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