I never used to think that what I do here could ever matter to anybody, because these are just bits and pieces of my own thoughts and the fact that they could also mean something to others brings me a sense of peace that I can neither fully comprehend nor fully explain. I guess we’re all just trying to find a place in this world that is so much bigger than us; I guess, sometimes, we feel like we’ve been drifting endlessly through the ocean for the longest time, and when we finally find some company, things just start looking a little better.
As much as the thought of being all by myself tempts me, I am probably also the sort of person who cannot go without getting my daily dose of 10 or more hugs per day. I don’t think I’ll do very well if I’m left all alone because I have a hard time keeping my thoughts in check; I tend to overthink an unhealthy amount and that’s not a good thing.
But, as much as I would like to hold onto someone and latch myself onto them like a koala, everyone has their own lives to live and their own things to do. We can’t always depend on others to keep our thoughts in check. Writing, for me, is one of the things that helps. And I’m guessing that whatever I write here ended up meaning something to others because they found something that they could relate to.
And aren’t we all just trying to find something to relate to, anyway? The friends we made over all these years are here because you probably had shared interests at one point in time, and even if we have largely different interests now, we’ll find ourselves putting everything we love together and making a big potpourri out of it all. I think that’s very beautiful.
I just want to let you all know today that we may not always find places where we feel like we could belong, but that does not make us outcasts. Not fitting in is something that we’ve all been scared of at some point. There is always going to be a new topic to talk about and not everyone can keep up with every single thing out there; there’s just way too much to do that. Maybe it would help if we were a little kinder to ourselves and instead of shaming people (including ourselves) for not knowing something beforehand, we educate them.
But, of course, it’s not a perfect world and I am only one person. I can’t change anybody’s mind, and neither can you. So the best thing we can do is to keep being ourselves and be kinder to ourselves and believe that it will make all the difference we need.
You don’t have to pretend to be anybody else. You don’t have to fit in. You don’t have to change yourself drastically to fit in. The people who love you will love you regardless if they mean it. You are beautiful and you are good enough and I think you should know that.
I hope Monday hasn’t been too hard on you. Xx