Choices.

I felt like writing a really petty poem today, and here it is! I am very proud of how this one goes because it’s almost like a story and it doesn’t really need too much explaining. It’s just plain old pettiness in poetry! I love that for me.

Happy reading! Xx

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I chose my words with caution
Like it was life and death—
‘Was it not?’  I wonder now,
I’d almost convinced myself then,
Before the ties that bound us snapped;
We remain scarred by the whiplash,
I wonder if I’d chosen better words
You wouldn’t have left like that.

I chose my words in fear
Like I’d slighted you in the worst way,
I turned a blind eye to my wounds—
They’ve been bleeding for days,
I wondered if I held back my tears too,
I just wanted to be strong for you;
All my strength bled me dry
But there was hope I held onto.

I chose my words in silence,
The cold kind you put me through,
Seeking warmth where it never was,
You never cared and you still never do;
And I held on until the ropes dug in,
Leaving cuts and burns in their wake,
It never really did stop hurting,
But I learned to ignore the pain.

I chose my words in agony,
You turned a deaf ear to them all,
My letters remain unanswered,
I wonder if you read them at all—
And I’ve been told to bury your traces
But you left too many to find;
I keep burying you in pieces,
But there are always more left behind.

I chose my words in tears,
They fell  and you did nothing,
The fault was mine to hope,
I held on in vain;
It was the worst mistake,
And I wish time could turn back,
But words once spilt like wine
Cannot be taken back.

And so, I chose my words once more,
Hoping they’d hurt you the same,
Payback was never my intent,
But I hoped it’d hurt you some way—
Some cruel part of me wished
You hadn’t hurt me so,
I’d rather watch you bleed,
But I only watch you go.

~© Shubhangi Srinivasan.

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Featured Image by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash