Losing It.

Lately, I’ve been feeling as though every single time I think I am close to achieving something big, or has been rudely taken away from me. I don’t know how much longer I can hang on to hope and tell myself to keep doing what I do. Most of it isn’t even my fault; it’s just that the situations have escalated far beyond my control in most cases and I don’t know how to handle them anymore without completely losing my temper.

I don’t like seeing my hard work get brushed aside like none of it ever meant anything. Inspite of it all, I don’t want to give up now that I know how far I’ve come and how close I am to actually achieving the things that I set out to do.

The thing is, my failure isn’t something that will just affect me– it also affects those around me. Those who have been hopeful for me. I don’t want to give up on my dreams yet, knowing that I haven’t even fulfilled them. But I genuinely feel like I’m being put through the mill. I’m exhausted from all the long hours of fighting everyone who has been keeping me away from realizing my goals.

I know that good things seldom come easy, but they shouldn’t be this hard to achieve, either. I am on the verge of shutting down and I don’t want that to happen. Weirdly enough, I want to keep going purely out of spite, so I can prove myself to everyone who is holding me back.

Sometimes, situations do slip out of control and there is very little we can do about that. The least we can do for ourselves is to fight for what belongs to us and for everything that we deserve. It isn’t wrong for any of us to be enraged when we are being held back from everything we have earned after the long hours of hard work. We’ve always been taught that perhaps rage doesn’t fix things, but sometimes, it’s okay to be angry when something keeps going wrong even though we have done everything that we could have from our end.

Fight for what is yours. Xx

Featured Image by Tanja Zöllner on Unsplash