One of these days, I’m going to say this out loud, but, can people please stop assuming that just because one of my peers has chosen to take a certain step in their lives, I’ll be open to doing the same?
As you all know, I’m attending two of my cousins’ weddings this week. And more times than I can count, people have walked up to me and asked me when I’m planning to get hitched, myself. Well, for starters, I cannot get married to myself, although I am pretty sure I would have chosen that for myself if it were an option! Secondly, just because my cousins are ready to take the plunge, it doesn’t automatically mean that it’s the right time for me to do so, as well.
Of course, I understand that this is just the normal sort of chatter at family events. But it really gets tiring after the first few hundred times. Although people walked up to me and congratulated me on publishing a book, they didn’t seem to be as excited about the idea of me writing more books as much as they were with the idea of me getting married.
Ah, well. I’m young and ambitious. I have plans for a career and a life to live before I choose to get married (and that’s a big if at the moment). It’s just very unsettling to have people offering me their condolences, to my face, for the fact that my cousin, who is younger than me, got married before I did. This is honestly just the sort of thinking that I know we must be leaving behind us. But, it’s not like I can say these things out loud, unless I want to be called out for ‘causing a scene’ in the middle of an auspicious event.
No, I don’t judge people who choose to get married early. Maybe they think it’s the right step to take, taking in account where they in their lives. From where I stand, however, I don’t think it’s the right choice for me yet. And no, I’m not sad that people younger than me have taken this step much before I have had the chance to consider my options. Everybody has their own choices to make, and I am pretty happy with where I am right now.
The thing is, there is the right thing to do and the right thing for me. It’s not a crime for me to pick whatever I think is right for myself.
And it’s not a crime for you to make yourself a priority either.
If you’re reading this, please know that it is okay to start later in life. It’s okay to take things at your own pace as long as you’re sure about where you are headed and know what you want from life. Life is too short to live by the rules somebody else makes for us. Xx