“Good things take time.”
“You’ll get there eventually.”
I’ve been hearing the same thing for the last few months now, and I think I have been patient enough for the longest time to let myself believe that my hard work would actually pay off. But it seems like every moment of hope that I allow myself to have is just another moment where my life is going entirely downhill.
I’ve been receiving nothing but bad news every other day, and it only gets progressively worse with every next news I hear. I don’t know how bad it can possibly get, but I wouldn’t be asking myself to hold on if I didn’t have anything in mind. Things might get bad, but as long as I am willing to keep myself going at a pace that allows me to consistently improve the situation around me, I don’t think I should give up.
Not just yet, at least.
Is it scary to see your leap of faith go terribly downhill and fail until it crashes and burns? I cannot even tell you how bad it feels. I would like nothing more to stay in bed and cry myself to sleep for a month at a stretch. But I know that it’s not going to solve anything. I’ll probably have to do something about it if I want to salvage whatever there is left of my failed dreams.
And you know what? Maybe I will. Giving up on something I’ve wanted for a really long time seems cruel to me. I don’t think I should let one failure define me or my worth.
I’ll deal with this, one day at a time. As everything should be dealt.
As will we all. Xx