One of the things that everybody goes through on their slightly worse days is how we can’t stop thinking about what we actually have to offer to the world. Because, at the end of the day, when you think about where you stand right now, you don’t always have a definite answer to your question and it tends to take a toll on you. I keep asking myself what my purpose in life is and where I’d like to be instead, and a lot of times all I see is a blank canvas that gives me no idea whatsoever.
The good thing about a blank canvas is that you get to choose what goes on the canvas. You get to choose the colours. You get to own your narrative. Everything about the canvas in front of you is going to reflect you. Sounds great, doesn’t it? But a blank canvas also usually begs the big fat questions ‘Where do I even start?‘ and, of course, the formidable ‘What if I mess up the whole thing and everything I have done so far is in vain?‘ I’m not sorry if this sounds a tad dramatic but these two questions often up having the biggest impact on our lives.
I’d like to think that I’m going somewhere with whatever it is that I’m doing and simply trust the process. It may be something as small as the sketch that I’m working on, even though it looks terrible initially, or something as big as trying to map my entire life out from where I stand right now. It doesn’t really make a difference because I’m always going to be worried about where the ‘process’ is going to take me. I think we all have these 3AM thoughts; to the world we may seem like somebody who has things incredibly sorted out, but we’re all just trying to deal with our own mess in our own ways.
All we ever get to see online is the perfect, beautiful parts. We end up fooling ourselves into thinking that growth is supposed to look like that. Like things are going to be all rainbows and unicorns all the time. Overnight success stories are amazing, but have you ever imagined how hard somebody must have worked for them to be finally be recognized so widely? Yeah, that’s the problem. We go around thinking that things are going to be perfect all the time, not understanding that perfection is purely subjective.
I know that it is so difficult to draw the first stroke on your blank canvas. It’s so hard to pick just one concept out of the hundreds of ideas in your head. But I guess it all comes down to that one leap of faith that comes with the first step. So, as scary as that might seem, we just have to go ahead and do it whenever we think we’re ready (we’ll never really be, so we might as well go ahead and take that first step and see where it goes!).
Get some colour on that canvas!
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