#NaPoWriMo Day 25: Vanity.

Today, napowrimo.net asked us to write a poem about an occasion. I have no noteworthy occasions in mind that I can write about, so I chose to go with something I feel like everyone can relate to.

While you’re here, make sure you go check out Kittu’s Modern Mixtape and Amour Infini for more amazing poetry. They always have the most thought-provoking poems.

Happy reading, and don’t miss out on the endnotes for more! Xx

The mirror is a friend I haven’t visited in so long,
I forget what it feels like to appreciate
The gentle ups and downs and the contours—
Once in a blue moon, I allow myself to be vain.

And vanity, they say, is a drug,
They say, ‘Too much of it can mess you up’,
As they say, ‘Take some pride in your appearance’,
All in the very same breath;
Who’s going to tell them they can’t have it both ways?
My pride isn’t a decision they can make,
After all, the one in the mirror is my face—

A stark contrast from what it once used to be,
A plain canvas devoid of all finery,
A face too pale, no colour on my cheeks,
Lips far too chapped to show a hint of pink,
Eyes tired, dark and sunken in
From all the nights I spent waking,
Hair far longer than I remember it,
Dented from all the long hours of being braided,
Although, thicker around my fingers
And far healthier than I can remember,
Nails chipped from all the neglect,
Stained with paint in multicoloured flecks,
And just…
A blank canvas begging to be coloured in.

And vanity is a drug I could lose to,
And perhaps that’s all I want to do,
Just for once, to feel  the way I did
With lips painted a sultry red,
Or eyes lined in exaggerated wings,
Hair let down, framing my face,
Donned in my finest dress,
Looking like the picture of grace,
Just for once, to want for materialistic things
I can go back to being plain some other day.

But that is what the world wants you to think,
Isn’t it?

That beauty is meant to be saved,
Locked up in a safe,
Kept hidden away,
For a more special, meaningful day,
As though one needs any reason to appreciate
All that there is left of us today—
But who could ever tell what tomorrow holds in store,
And who ever said I shouldn’t be vain today.

There’s  no winning for the likes of us,
You and I;
Vain if you do,
Drab if you don’t—
Like we ever do anything for anybody but us,
And perhaps appeasing your own vanity isn’t a bad thing…

After all,
Vanity is only another word
Made by those who’d rather see us insecure,
Made to feel so small,
We shrink into ourselves even more,
But I’d rather indulge myself
Than pay heed to anyone else—

So, what is the occasion?’

I just felt like myself.
That’s all.

~© Shubhangi Srinivasan.

There are times when we are so caught up in other things, we just forget everything about taking care of ourselves, and eventually, we start letting go of our appearance. There are also times when all we want to do is indulge ourselves in the more materialistic side of self-love, which is very valid as well. There is no need for an occasion for anybody to make themselves feel a little more special about themselves, no matter what the world tells you about it. Sometimes, we just have to do whatever it takes to feel better. I hope this poem got the point across.
Yours truly,
The Shubhster. Xx

Featured Image by Mister M on Unsplash

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