Am I Proud?

A couple of days ago, one of my friends told me that she is so proud of me for writing every single day and that she hoped I was proud of myself as well. I didn’t know the answer to that and I still don’t know it. I spent all of today wondering why exactly that is.

I know that consistency is something to be proud of. I know that I should be proud of it. But I keep telling myself that it’s not enough, for some reason. I keep putting myself down and I wonder why. I see a lot of my friends achieve amazing things and they don’t think it’s a big deal, so they don’t really give themselves a lot of credit for what they do.

I think it’s really, really sad that we have bought into a really toxic system that always makes us feel so small no matter how much we have achieved. We work ourselves out for something and then realize that we want more. It never ends. Ambition is, of course, a good thing to have, but when ambition keeps you from applauding the steps you took to get there, it immediately becomes toxic.

I thought about all the times I have ever told myself that what I am doing isn’t enough or anywhere close to good enough and I made a list of every single time I subjected myself to harsh criticism like that. I can’t help but feel a little disappointed in myself for not having realized that sooner.

I will be posting about it in detail in tomorrow’s post. But for now, I just want to remind all of you that it is extremely important to validate yourself and give yourself a pat on the back for whatever little progress you’ve made. It doesn’t mean that you’re settling for less. It doesn’t mean that you don’t know you’re capable of much more. It just means that you’re proud of yourself and that you’re willing to do more and climb higher.

For now, I’ll leave you to think about all the times you’ve told yourself that your progress didn’t matter. Think about it and you’ll understand the impact it has made on you.

Take care! Xx

Featured Image by Jess Bailey on Unsplash

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