‘This Can’t Be Me!’

Most people I know have gone through a very specific stage that had them questioning whether they are the same person who could read an entire book in a single sitting, just a few years ago. Or, make a new artwork every other day. Or come up with a full-length story with a well-written plot. They all seem to think that they have lost an important part of themselves, now that they can no longer do all those things that they once could, because they neither have the same amount of inspiration, time, nor the energy left to actually work on the ideas they clearly have.

And when I say ‘most people I know’, I’m talking about myself as well.

Sometimes, I have this weird moment of de-familiarization with myself where I cannot believe the kind of things I used to achieve in such short periods of time.  I can no longer bring myself to make a new artwork every other day. I can’t write full-length stories or read books in a single sitting anymore. Although, I might be getting close to getting a lot more reading done these days, I still don’t understand how I could do all the things I once did. I don’t even feel like the same person anymore.

If you, too, feel the same way sometimes, congratulations! This is what growing up feels like. It sucks; we all get over it at some point.

Just kidding.

Just because we have new things on our plate now, and new responsibilities to handle, we might find ourselves putting things we once genuinely enjoyed on the back-burner for a bit because there are other things that take priority. That doesn’t mean you’ve lost an important part of yourself to adulthood. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t a part of you anymore, either. We need to understand that just because we are busy doing other things, doesn’t mean that we are out-of-touch with what makes us who we are.

Our passion for something is not going to change unless we have found something that drives our spirit better. Are we the same people we once used to be? Not really. We’ve all done a fair bit of growing up and learned a bunch of important life lessons, I’m sure. It is a little difficult to accept that we can no longer do things with the same amount of energy that we did, once, but it is only fair that we accept that this is part of growing up.

And, who knows? Maybe, someday, we will come around and bring ourselves to do those things we love with the same amount of enthusiasm that we once showed them. It’s okay to grieve the loss of not being able to do things with the same consistency anymore, but it is important that we remind ourselves of the fact that they’re still very much an important part of us.

‘This can’t be me!’ Well, no kidding! You’re not who you used to be. But that might as well be for the best because you now know the value of something that makes you happy. Allow yourselves to slowly find a way back to everything you love. It might take some time. Probably longer than you would’ve imagined, but it will definitely happen.

It’s okay. You’ve still got what makes you who you are. Xx


Featured Image by Pepe Reyes on Unsplash

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