You know that feeling of initial dread that everyone feels when they watch something they have worked on go up in flames? That feeling of panic, that moment when we have to watch something that means so much to us eventually fail because, despite all our efforts, it wasn’t good enough?
I wouldn’t wish that upon anybody. I’ve been there and I know that it’s one of the worst things to happen to a person. In such moments, it is very difficult and seemingly impossible to muster up any kind of hope or optimism. It doesn’t matter what kind of comfort we are given; somewhere, there is always a painful reminder that our efforts were, in fact, for nothing and without consequence.
But after a while away, after more than just a couple of distractions, I have realized that I was too caught up in something that cannot be changed. Of course, we all have regrets about something or another but mulling over them isn’t going to change anything, especially when we’re doing the same thing over and over instead of actually finding a solution to things.
The thing is, this is like all those times you spend hours looking for something that is seemingly lost, which only shows up when you’ve completely given up on all hopes of finding it. It’s always like that with most things in life. Most of all, motivation and inspiration, as I’ve come to learn.
It’s going to feel as though you are never going to make it past this one failure that you’ve suffered. But the pain turns to a dull ache that you eventually learn to ignore. And the dull ache turns non-existent when you allow yourself to pay attention to the more important things in life instead of letting yourself think and overthink everything down to the last detail.
I’ve taken my five minutes away and I’ve spent enough time in the company of others without the worry of what’s going to happen tomorrow or what has already happened yesterday. I’ve spent a whole week away somewhere with incredibly crappy reception so that I wouldn’t be tempted to look at my phone more often. I’ve spent a few days without letting myself think about anything at all.
It has been liberating, to say the least.
I have allowed myself the space to explore the possibilities now. I’ve told myself that it is okay to not be in control all the time and that it is okay to let go of what no longer is good for me.
Good things don’t magically come to our lives. Of course, we have to work for them a good amount. But we can also just let things run their course sometimes and see where that can take us.
There is always something better in store for us. Don’t let yourself be limited by what isn’t working out in your favour. You’re meant for far better things.
Hold on to that. Xx