The Demons in My Head.

I wrote this poem inspired by a recurring nightmare I’ve been having for days.

Trigger Warning: Following poem contains mentions of blood and gore. Please do not continue reading if any of it makes you uncomfortable.

In the dark of the night,
Hiding in the shadows,
In the deepest corners
Wait my darkest fears
And the worst of thoughts,
Teeth bared and crouched low,
As though they could pounce,
Sink their fangs in me, deep,
Ripping my soul apart,
Bleeding me out dry and slow,
Until I give in to the pain—
Full dark and no stars,
Nor a single ray of light.
Breath held in ’til I choke,
Not a sound escaping my lips,
Frozen in place, toes curled,
Heartbeats loud,
Blood gone cold.

How easy could it be,
Giving in to that fear?
I imagine falling off a cliff:
An endless drop,
Into certain doom.
But what if I held on?
And what if I fought back?
How long would I make it?
Sunrise cannot come soon enough,
Thoughts in my head too loud
Cutting deeper in me,
Screams that leave me shaken;
It’s too loud in here,
Can I make it stop?
I wake up in cold sweat,
Frozen in place for too long.

These are the demons I raised,
And now they’ve turned on me;
They know where I hurt
And they know where to hide,
These are the demons I shut
Away from the world,
Somewhere deep inside.
One wrong step,
One false move,
I’m afraid they’ll take over,
But I don’t want them to.
The faster I run,
The harder they chase,
Fighting me for control,
They’re here to stay.

And I were to give in,
And should I find a way,
Perhaps I’ll be the one
Who holds the reins.
But for now, I’ll run,
As far as my legs will take me,
Some several hundred miles,
All I’ll have to do now
Is make it out alive,
Just until sunrise.

~© Shubhangi Srinivasan.

Featured Image by Jr Korpa on Unsplash

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