Social media is so tiring sometimes because you always get to see people posting their wins in life, which isn’t a bad thing at all, but because it makes us wonder just what in the world we are doing with our lives? It is exhausting to see people constantly talk about them achieving new things in life, starting new chapters, getting married or engaged or having a baby, or graduating, or starting a new venture… or anything at all for that matter.
If you feel like you’re losing out on life and that you’ve monumentally failed yourself, welcome to the damn club! Crying hours are whenever you feel like and they never end. But here’s the thing: we already know that it isn’t too late for any of us and that we shouldn’t be comparing our lives to anybody else’s, no matter how badly you wish it could have been you. It’s only normal to feel a little sad that you don’t see it happening for you, yet. It’s okay to let yourself be sad about it for a little bit.
And no, I’m not envious or anything. In fact, I couldn’t be happier for these people. I love seeing people win at life.
But from the very beginning, we have all been taught that there are things that need to be done by the time you hit a certain age, and although we have all come to learn that this is just something that we need to unlearn, it doesn’t erase how much of it we have internalized within ourselves. It’s very difficult to break out of that mindset because, for a very long time, it was what we had been told, over and over, until we started to believe that we were, in fact, not going to amount to anything if we didn’t do things by the time we were n years old.
I have to remind myself every single day that it isn’t too late for me, that I haven’t lost out on life because I didn’t do something by the time I was 22, or that I’m not a failure like that one voice in my head keeps telling me I am. There is so much more to life than just ticking things off of a bucket list and hitting deadlines and walking the path that we keep being told we need to walk, for whatever reason. When you think about it, the reasons we’re given aren’t good enough. They’re nowhere even close. On the surface, they seem so solid and terrifying, but it isn’t until much later that we realize that these reasons are as hollow as they could get.
It is such a constant struggle to keep reminding yourself that somebody else’s progress should not ever be used as a yard-stick for your own. That’s not how things work and they’ll never work the same way for two people. That’s not what progress is about. The only person you need to compete with is yourself. If you’ve made even the slightest progress, it’s a win, even if you don’t talk about it anywhere.
Remember that your situation and the road you’re walking on is very different from the people you keep comparing yourselves to. You still have all the time you need, no matter what everyone else has to say about it.