I’ve had a really hard time gathering myself today.
I thought that this was going to be a good day for me because my work received really good reviews and the editor was impressed with my writing for the project. But I’ve always noticed that things seem to go south the minute I allow myself to be happy. The second I decide that I want to celebrate my success with something nice, I am always given a rude awakening to the fact that maybe I do not deserve the success. And, honestly? This feeling pretty much sucks.
Of course, those who do not understand what this is like might say that I am ‘overreacting’ or taking things to heart too much, but everyone wants to celebrate their wins in life. It is very de-motivating when something stops you from celebrating at all.
But take it from someone who is constantly knocked down when celebrating wins, you should celebrate your success. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is. If you wait for the other shoe to drop your entire life, you will have no time to focus on the good that has happened. And that is just really sad.
This is a note to myself and for anyone else who needs to read this today, do not compromise on your happiness just because something bad might happen, sometime in the future. Right now is all anyone ever has. Ignoring what we have right now and mulling over something that hasn’t even happened yet seems like a very tiring way to spend our lives.
You’re allowed to be happy. You’re allowed to want to be happy. Xx