Has it ever happened to you that you’re spilling out your thoughts to someone and all you get in return is “Hey, it’s gonna be alright. You’re good enough,” or maybe some kind of an advice?
No! I don’t want to hear that everything’s going to be okay, I don’t want to hear that I’m good enough. I don’t want to hear that I’m a special person who deserves the world. Have you ever given it a thought that maybe, just maybe, I want you to shut up and just listen to what I’m saying, that I’m not in a state to pay attention to any kind of advice you might have for me? Just listen!
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
― Stephen R. Covey
If I want your suggestion, I would ask you to tell me what to do. Unless and until I ask you for your advice, please don’t start with it. There are times when all I want to do is to vent out all my frustration. And it works both ways- I’m pretty sure that at times, you feel the need to vent minus all the suggestions! No ‘I told you so‘s, no ‘Know what you should have done instead’s. I’m having none of it!
If only you could listen to what I’m saying! And I know it can get a little too hard, but please be patient with me, it’s all that I’m asking of you. You might feel that I have it easy, but I may not. My happy face might just be a mask, and you wouldn’t know about it until you’ve seen the mask fall off in front of you.
“Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out.”
― Roy T. Bennett
There’s a whole lot of difference between hearing and listening. While hearing is only a physical action where the sound is processed by our ears, listening is where we pay attention to the details and try to understand. Most people just hear what the others have to say and shoot back with retorts, suggestions, life-lessons and whatnot. What they fail to do, however, is to listen to what the other person has to say.
People who can just listen to what others have to say without giving away some piece of advice are the best kind of people, in my honest opinion. It doesn’t imply that their suggestions aren’t valued- they are, it just means that they understand that it’s not the right time to make you understand the right and the wrong. They wait until you are done venting and then calmly tell you what you should do in the most subtle way possible.
Be that person. Be the person who can listen– it’s not a quality everyone has.
A girl who is tired of unsolicited advice.
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