I remember how I told my best friend that something I told her sounded like a good inspiration for a poem. Maybe that was my sleepy head talking because when I looked back at what I said, it didn’t seem to inspire me as much as it did last night. But it did inspire me to do something new, now that I am slowly trying to get back to visual art. I don’t understand why I keep distancing myself from it so often. It’s like I’m keeping a part of myself locked up on purpose, not even knowing why!
I understand the need to take a break every once in a while. What I don’t get, though, is why I keep my sketchbook and art journal aside so much, but I can’t bring myself to stop writing for even a single day! Writing has become such an important part of my everyday routine by now. But I don’t understand why I can’t do that to all the other forms of art that I want to improve myself in. It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just that I don’t understand why it happens to so many of us sometimes.
No matter how much we love something, we sometimes feel as though we aren’t good enough. And it’s only fair that we feel that way because, as harsh as it sounds, there will always be people who are much, much better at doing the same things as you. But that does not mean that you’re not good at it. We’re always competing as long as we’re alive and breathing. But that should not stop us from doing all the things that we love to do. Maybe I should just take my own advice and jump right back into my art.
I remember that there was a time when I used to stay awake until 4AM, working on a sketch or painting. My parents would roll their eyes at me and tell me to sleep on time, but they very soon came to accept the fact that my waking hours are different. I’m a night owl and they came to terms with it. Looking back, I miss being a night owl for the sake of art. Although I immerse myself in other kinds of art like books or movies now, I really miss staying awake, staining almost all of my t-shirts with either ink or paint.
So, today, I’m going to try to bring that habit back again. I don’t know whether things will go back to the way they used to be because so much has changed. I have changed. But the familiarity of something that we love will always stay with us, no matter how long it has been since we went back to it. It’s not exactly like riding a bicycle or swimming where your muscle memory kicks in. It’s, for the lack of a better description, more emotionally connected to you.
So, if you think that you’ve been distancing yourself from something that you would have drowned yourself in before, don’t worry about it because sooner or later, you’ll find yourself wanting to go right back to what makes you happy. Because something that is a really important part of your life doesn’t go away that easily. Taking a break because you feel like you’re all tapped out of energy is completely okay. We all need to do that sometimes. But it’s not going to take away what matters to you.
Give yourself some time. Patience really does pay.
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