“It’s a little shameful for me to admit that I am actively trying to run away from an artwork that I was trying to make. Maybe it’s because I don’t really trust myself to actually go through with it. Maybe it’s because I am scared that it will turn out a lot worse than I actually pictured in my head. I don’t know why, but I find myself running away from the work in progress.
I keep telling myself that maybe it’s okay to take my own time with the sketch. Then again, the voices in my head are mean enough to remind me that I will probably have to trash the whole sketch and start all over because this is not what I wanted. And for somebody who isn’t really afraid of starting over, this terrifies me because this means that all of the hard work I have put in so far was for nothing, after all.
Today, after I write this post, I will go and give the artwork another go because I so badly want it to turn out better than I expect it to. Maybe it is a silly thing to give up on something that may actually end up looking good. Hope is such a confusing thing sometimes, isn’t it? The whole uncertainty of it all is what makes it more confusing than it needs to be.
Who knows? Maybe I really will end up scrapping my current work in progress because I am not happy with it. Then again, life is all about those trials and errors anyway. It’s never as easy as we want it to be, unless we’re really, really lucky or something.
So, I guess we’ll just have to keep trying. That doesn’t sound too bad, does it?”
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