It has been a crazy few days and I have been juggling between working on commissions, trying to write more regularly, actually catching up on my lessons and other things that I can’t even recall at this point, and I feel more exhausted than I think I’ve ever been. But I’ve also not felt the sort of dread that makes you think about your purpose and worth in a while and I feel a lot more at ease knowing that I’m happy and that I know where I’m going, for once. It’s nice to wake up and not have to wonder about where I’m headed.
It feels like only yesterday that I was wondering where I was going with things, and I think that, sometimes, all we need is time to figure things out and we will see a shift in things for ourselves, as long as we keep working for it. I can promise you that it certainly doesn’t help to rush things and expect good results. Good things always take time, and it takes a while for all of us to actually figure things out properly. Some of us more than the others. And all of it is perfectly okay as long as you don’t give up on the things that should matter the most to you.
I have no hacks or the kind of advice that can tell you what caused this change of shift for me, and I am being very honest when I say that I had days when I just wanted to give up on everything and start over, But instead of doing just that, I tried to distract myself with other things. I read a lot more, binge-watched shows with my best friend, took really long naps, and then decided to take things one little step at a time. And it worked. Well, it worked for me. That’s the whole point here: life is just one big series of trials and errors; we don’t know when we’ll end up with a shift in the pace.
And as much as I’d like to thank my lucky stars or whatever, I can’t help but wait for the other shoe to drop. It’s more about not getting over-confident about things than it is about being paranoid about things going south, and it’d help if we had a little more faith in ourselves. Things happen. And there are going to be so many rocky roads on the way. Cuts and scrapes, and maybe a few little falls, are inevitable along the way. Which is why it makes no sense for us to abandon what we’re good at just because we’ve had a few setbacks. Unless it’s taking a toll on your health or your life in any manner, I don’t see why you should.
I’m going to go and take a well-deserved break before I start working on more commissioned works, and I’ll let you think about what I’ve written here, for a while!
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