Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

“It feels like the most natural thing in the world to be afraid of something that brings us happiness. Rationally, it’d be the most foolish thing to be afraid of those things, but realistically speaking, these are the only things in the world that truly hold the power to hurt you beyond repair and I think we’re all very valid to be terrified of everything that makes us happy. Does that make sense? Not the slightest bit. But does it still ring true? Absolutely. I don’t know what it is that made us believe that we should be ready to pack our things and flee the minute we tasted the smallest possible drop of happiness on our tongues, but somewhere along the way, we must have learned it the hard way that with happiness comes a certain amount of vulnerability, a moment in which we let our walls down, and there’s also that voice in our heads screaming things like ‘Danger!’ or ‘It’s a bad idea!’ so who can really blame us if we choose to be a little wary of whatever little happiness comes our way? Like I said, it’s only natural for us to feel as though there might be something that we can’t handle. Why do we have a fight-or-flight response to such things? Because it’s not just something we have learned to do over time, it’s set in the very fibre of our being. I guess self-preservation is a thing in more ways than one. We’re only trying to guard what is ours and what we want to protect, and we still end up getting hurt because there are always chinks in the armour that cannot be fixed, no matter how much we try. At times, I wonder if it’s right to keep our emotions shut inside and run away from happiness because we’re afraid of what comes next. But what are we if not the sum of all our brightest and darkest parts put together? We are just a messed up but equally beautiful mosaic of emotions. We might not see the allure of that. And nobody but us could ever truly understand why we keep ourselves so guarded. But that’s still no reason why we shouldn’t try to cherish whatever little happiness we get. Whether we believe it or not, we deserve to be happy, or to find happiness if we haven’t found it yet already. We just need to believe that we do.”

Featured Image by Catalin Pop on Unsplash