The Crushing Guilt of Being Unproductive.

I made the conscious choice to not touch my laptop for the last two days after spending weeks in front of it. I must say, I definitely needed the break. I didn’t realize how much of myself I was putting into something just because I wanted to be done with it as soon as possible.

And then it hit me: I cannot be faithful to something I am passionate about if I’m trying to get things done at the earliest just so I would have the time to breathe. It somehow feels very disrespectful to my art, and my dedication for it.

But, as much as I would like to believe that I am fully dedicated towards my work, I cannot ignore how much of a toll it ends up taking on me. This is the exact reason why I hate the whole concept of ‘working until you drop’. I don’t think that’s the way it is supposed to be, for anyone at all. We’re not supposed to feel the crushing guilt of cutting ourselves some slack because everybody needs that time to recharge and get back to the things they love.

As much as I talk about people needing to take a step back and unwind, I am beginning to understand the amount of guilt that we put ourselves through for not being able to do something productive throughout the day. It stems from the need to achieve success as soon as possible. It stems from the desire to prove our worth. But most importantly, the guilt stems from the belief that we cannot achieve success if we don’t work ourselves until the point we drop.

I suppose we should be asking ourselves why we think putting ourselves first is such a bad thing. Why is it that any time spent not wearing ourselves out is considered to be a waste of our time? I want to ask so many questions to the people who glorify unhealthy and impractical standards of work, and why they never consider how mental exhaustion is a very real thing that a lot of people are currently going through, even if they don’t really know it.

I wouldn’t know what to tell you if you asked me what we could do to unlearn the unhealthy and toxic hustle culture that we have been taught from a very young age, but I can tell you that you shouldn’t feel as though you’ve committed a crime by taking out some time to focus on yourself.

Make wise choices. Xx

Featured Image by Julian Hochgesang on Unsplash

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