Ah, the F-word. Not the swearing kind, but the kind that still sends people running in the other direction with their ears shut, faster than you can say ‘Hi‘. I’ve heard so many people whine about being ‘friend-zoned‘ by now, it has honestly worn out. I feel as if it’s just another reason for people to complain and feel entitled.
If I had a dollar for every time somebody whined about being considered ‘just a friend‘ by someone they developed feelings for, I’d be rolling in bills right now. I’m not even exaggerating when I say this.
What a lot of people don’t seem to understand is that the friend they’ve developed feelings for does not owe them anything. There is no rule that states that your feelings for them absolutely have to be reciprocated because guess what? The concepts of consent and free will still exist.
I hate to point fingers, but the number of men who try to force themselves on their female friends, or call their female friends a ‘slut’, ‘bitch’, ‘whore’ or something equally or more repulsive, just because they have been friend-zoned, is insane, and it is a real problem. And before you can say ‘Not all men‘, I need to ask you to take a seat because you’re all about to be schooled on why women take the friend-zone better than men do.
I don’t know about you all, but a lot of guys that I’ve been friends with just broke off their friendships with me because I didn’t develop feelings for them and they did. They accused me of shoving them in the ‘friend-zone‘ and never talked to me again as if I did something wrong! The only reason I got was ‘What else is there left to talk about?‘ and I find this ‘excuse’ toxic and childish.
I’ve been friend-zoned by a few guys I used to like, and I was completely okay with it because I never felt as though they owed me anything. They’re humans, they have the freedom to like whoever they want to. The only reason I confessed to liking them at any point of time at all was that I needed to clear my mind and know if we were in the same place.
So here’s a message I have for anybody who breaks friendships off just because their feelings haven’t been reciprocated: I get it. You feel hurt. But now that it’s out in the open and you know where the other person stands, you can heal and move on. It’s not the end because life goes on.
That being said, don’t lash out at the person who couldn’t reciprocate your feelings because it isn’t something you can magically just summon. Don’t be a creep and force them to ‘try‘ either. It doesn’t work that way! If anything, you only push them further away. Romantic feelings have to develop over time and if that didn’t happen for them with you, then it’s just not meant to be and you need to be more accepting of that. Respect the code of consent and free will.
And if you’re one of those people who think that there’s nothing left to talk about just because your friend doesn’t have romantic feelings for you, I’m sorry, but you’re behaving like an entitled brat and you need to calm down before you embarrass yourselves!
I don’t see anything wrong with loving each other platonically. Bonds last way longer that way, most of the time. This goes for everybody who makes sexist jokes about being friend-zoned.
It’s 2019. Grow up and be an adult about it!
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