Okay, well. At least most of the time. Nobody is perfect, you know? But mothers who make an effort to understand their kids come pretty damn close.
I love my Mom, I really do, but there are obviously times when we don’t necessarily see eye-to-eye. And I think that it’s okay because it’s better to have things out in the open than to keep them bottled up and unresolved. Because at the end of the day, I still need that goodnight hug and forehead kiss from my Mom before I go to sleep. Don’t get me wrong, we both get on each other’s nerves plenty of times, and because we are so alike (if you ask us, we will deny it), it’s always hilarious when we have a disagreement.
But looking back, when I think of all the times my Mom has warned me about something (or usually a someone), she has been right. And no matter what I do, I don’t think I will ever be able to make up for all the times I have been a brat. No apology in the world is right, but maybe the best way to show her that I love her is by having her back just as much as she has my brother’s and mine. We sure get an earful when we mess up, but it’s only because she wants us to do better, and of course, it does make us want to do better.
She always says ‘I am not the one who is going to benefit from this in the end, so it’s up to you if you want to take this piece of advice.’ Which is amazing, because not only is she giving us the freedom to make our own choices (a very important thing, by the way), she’s also not actually guilt-tripping us into doing anything. For all the times that this has annoyed me, it really makes me wonder how my Mom is pretty chilled out most of the time.
I’m not saying all of this because it is Mother’s Day and I have to. I’m saying this because I realize that I don’t talk about it too often. I don’t really feel the need to because even though I’m not very vocal about how much I love my Mom, I’m sure she has a fair idea from the way my brother and I still need her hugs and kisses on our bad days. We don’t even need to tell her that something has gone wrong because she somehow always knows. After all, she has seen us grow up.
Nothing I say, nothing I do will ever be enough because my Mom only deserves the best, and definitely a lot better than the cards that life has dealt her. And I’m sure that a lot of us feel the same way for our moms because of how unfairly they get treated because of the raging, stuck-up male entitlement that somehow still seeps its way into even the strongest of relationships. So it breaks my heart every time my mother feels as though she isn’t cared for enough; because whether she knows it or not, my brother and I would take a bullet for her any old day.
Kids like me who have grown up in brown households see our mothers being dragged to Hell and back. But sometimes, we feel helpless in front of all those ‘elders’ that we are obligated to be respectful towards, no matter how they run their mouths about our mothers. I really do wish things were different, at least in that department, because I have had to physically fight myself countless times when one or the other relative has gone too far with their comments about my mother. I’m sure that a lot of others can relate to this, one way or another, and that is just sad.
And that is why I feel like my mother deserves a lot more than she gets. Truth be told, she deserves the whole damn world and all I am is just one mortal who is trying her hardest to make her happy. She may not show it all the time, but I know that supports whatever path I choose for myself. And honestly, that is all I’ll ever need because I can’t even imagine how lost I’d be without her.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms and mother-figures out there. You all deserve a lot more love than you get and I genuinely apologize for that. I hope we can make you all proud.
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