It has been such a weird day. It seemed like it would never end, and yet, here we are, at the end of yet another day.
I have spent the entire day reading, once again. I am quickly going back to the part of myself that used to read entire books in a single sitting. It weirdly feels like I’m getting my life back on its track, for once, and it is oddly empowering to me that I am able to do so.
Of course, getting here, though, wasn’t easy.
I had to allow myself to marinate in whatever misery life kept throwing at me for the last however many weeks. I wouldn’t say I made it out of that madness unscathed, but I feel exhausted from all the mental labour that I’ve had to do, and now that I have a chance to let myself recover, I find it incredibly tiring as well as relaxing. It is almost as though I needed this very long rest.
I feel a lot more inspired, too.
You’ll notice that when you’re doing a whole lot of mental and emotional labour, you’re exhausted more often. Letting yourself recover after that difficult period is pretty much the same as letting yourself recover from a nasty bug. It’s not wrong for you to prioritize your well-being over being productive all the time.
Is hustle-culture paying your bills? Yeah. But at the same time, you hustling yourself into sickness isn’t going to help, either. I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again, but no workplace cares if their employees are slowly succumbing to exhaustion, whether it’s physical or mental.
It sure feels like something doable, when you decide that you want to push yourself further and go another day of exhaustion with little to no efforts for recovery. But it will catch up to you, even if you don’t see it coming. I’ve seen it happen, and chances are that you have, too! You know that this isn’t something I am fabricating for the sake of telling people to look after themselves and put their well-being first.
If you’re unable to take a long break from things like I am, try taking smaller breaks instead. I can’t speak for you, nor is it my place to do so, but I know that everybody needs to focus on the way they are holding onto whatever little driftwood they can, right now. Maybe it isn’t possible for you to constantly put yourself first, but please consider doing so where it matters the most. Maybe, by reclaiming little parts of your life, you will find that it is easier to go about your day.
And maybe that is what so many of us need right now– to remind ourselves that we are still in control of our lives, even if we aren’t always in control of the circumstances. We cannot control what is thrown our way, but we can control how we treat our injuries and let ourselves heal.
Start by reclaiming little bits and pieces of your day. Your life shouldn’t be puppeteered by someone who does not care about how you deal with your mental health. And if nobody else does, you definitely should put yourself first.
You are important. Xx