I have lost count of the number of instances I have been asked how many times I am going to re-watch certain movies and shows, or re-read certain books, or play certain songs on repeat. I don’t really have an answer to that. We all have a habit of re-visiting our favourite moments countless times, and it never really gets old, when you think about them in the long run; you may tire of them for the time being, but you’ll always find yourselves going back to the same song or book that brings you the comfort you need.
We humans are such peculiar beings. Our memories are latched onto weird things. If somebody asks you why you’re crying over a song that isn’t even sad, you’re allowed to not have an answer to that because everyone has a different way of experiencing life. It amazes me how much we attach ourselves and our memories to the most random things out there. But, hey, everyone is allowed to cope with things their own way and you don’t really get a say in that.
It’s important that we understand why we keep going back to things that bring us comfort. It’s like your favourite food— you can’t really eat it every single day, and you may tire of it after a while, but give it some time and you’ll still find yourself going back and indulging in yourself in that very food because it’s what makes you happy. I don’t know if that makes any sense because it really is one of those abstract things that you can’t put into words, but I hope it gets the point across, nevertheless.
Finding comfort in something that holds a whole ocean’s worth of meaning is something we do to cherish feelings that would otherwise overwhelm us. It’s like a tether. It’s what reminds you things will eventually turn out right. It’s not a promise, and it’s definitely nowhere close to a confirmation, but it’s something to hold on to when the times are rough and, sometimes, that is all we need to make it out without crumbling to dust.
A reminder told me yesterday that ‘your heart is only broken, not shattered’, and it made a lot of sense to me because broken doesn’t always mean useless. We always find a way out of things, even if we carry scratches and cracks from our past. Scars are a reminder that you survived, in most cases, and I think that it is important that we allow ourselves to revisit things that make us feel safe and reassured during all those times when we think that maybe things will never be okay hereon.
But that’s the thing. Things always turn out okay. Even when they don’t seem like they will. And you’re allowed to do things that make you feel safe. You’re allowed to choose the things that tether you to the solid ground in the middle of a raging storm. You’re allowed whatever comfort food fills your heart to the brim.
It’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay. And always remember that your feelings are valid and so are you.
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