If I Were.

The pain of trying your hardest and giving your best comes when nobody seems to realize that you are, in fact, doing everything you can. There will always be people who are never happy with the things you try so hard to achieve; there aren’t enough words to describe how disheartening it is to realize that your dreams are constantly trying to be shaped into something more ‘conventional’ because ‘you’re not being practical’. Sometimes, all you want is to hear a word or two of assurance, and the moral support to follow your dreams. It’s not really too much to ask for, but it is hard to come by. This is a poem I wrote about it.

Happy reading. Xx

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If I were enough,
Perhaps more would’ve stayed,
But I’ve only watched them
All find better, walk away,
And if I were enough
Perhaps I’d hear more praise,
But the harder I try,
The sooner they go away.

I run uphill,
I never reach,
I fall too much,
Bruised ego and knees;
You see my wounds,
Still watch me bleed.

But if I were enough
You’d just let me be,
If I were enough,
You’d love me for me.

And you say you do,
But do you, really?

If I were enough,
You’d be kinder to me,
Stabbed by my side,
Walk a mile or three,
And if I were enough,
You’d let yourself see
All that I could do,
And all that I could be;

But you don’t give me a chance,
Your words cut too deep,
I am trying my hardest
To stand on my feet,
You wouldn’t tell me off
Or make me a mockery.

And if I were enough,
You’d just let me be,
If I were enough,
You’d want me for me–

You always say you do,
But are you, really?

If I were enough,
You’d tell me you’re proud,
But you’ve never,
Not once,
Deemed me enough,
If I were enough,
You’d be happier than now,
But you’re never,
Not once,
All I cause you is misery.

And if I were enough,
You’d be happier with me,
But I’m not,
I never will be–
If I were enough,
You’d love me for me,

You say you do,
But you don’t seem to, really.

~© Shubhangi Srinivasan.

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Featured Image by Jr Korpa on Unsplash