For the last two days, I’ve been running around trying to get the kind of photo I wanted of the moon. It has been the most ridiculous thing I have ever done to get my mind off of whatever has been on it. And while this distraction has been a good thing, now that I have the photos of the Snow Moon, I had all of my emotions crashing right back in. And I am not sure how much longer I can keep telling myself that sometimes, good things take time.
There’s something called ‘Valentine’s Week’ going on, and no matter where I go, I see couples doing couples-y things. Things that I have never been able to do because I am in a long-distance relationship. It hasn’t bothered me before; I usually go about my business just the way they do with theirs. But I’m only human, you know? Sometimes, I let myself get carried away and I realize that I miss my boyfriend way too much to just keep pretending otherwise.
And it is impossible to blame anything or anyone here because it isn’t really anybody’s fault. It’s just the way things are. S when people ask me how I do this, how I go the distance, I guess the only answer there is, is that when two people love each other, nothing else has to make sense. Cliché. I know. But it’s the cold, hard truth that sometimes even I have to drill into my head. It isn’t a cakewalk and it certainly isn’t something that I could even consider giving up.
Yesterday, my friend told me that we have to allow ourselves to be sad so that we can come back better the next day, with a clear head. We have to be weepy and sad for a while. Believe it or not, it’s actually a healthy emotional release. And we must love ourselves enough to let ourselves shatter and rebuild sometimes. I’m not romanticizing pain here. But I do know that bottling it up or sweeping it under the rug isn’t going to do any of us any good.
So I let myself be sad and miserable today. I watched the cheesiest rom-coms, let myself cry over the silliest things and just admit to myself that for once, things were not going my way and that it was okay. And guess what? It helped. I almost feel like myself again. And I know that things will be better very soon because Life never keeps any of us under a cloud for too long. But sometimes, it’s hard and you just have to take a tiny L so you can go for the bigger W in the future.
Here’s to being human and gloomy for once!
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