28th June, 2019
“Dear Diary,
How many times have I been on the verge of giving up? How many times have I exhausted myself over things that were completely out of my control, instead of surrendering to the flow? Not everything can be resolved by being stubborn, and it has taken me a while to learn that. But when I do accept that there’s nothing I can do to get things done my way, a small part of me always blames myself for not being able to succeed at the given task. I wish I had realized sooner how harmful that can be…”
It had gotten to a point where I would replay every single one of my past failures and unnecessarily blame myself. As if that would have magically set everything right in the past! It wasn’t until after this camp I attended over the summer that I realized that not everything has to work out my way. And it’s nobody’s fault, either.
Sometimes, that’s just how bad things can get. The suggested course of action should be along the lines of graciously being able to accept what has already happened and cut ourselves some slack because not everything is in our hands. But we humans are so weird. We tend to blame ourselves to the point of emotionally draining out, without realizing that it really is okay to give ourselves a damn break so that we can heal and come back better.
I’m grateful today for my family, my friends and for myself— these are the people who wouldn’t let me feel too terrible about taking a break from things for a while if I needed it. And it’s exactly what happened last year after graduation when I needed to take some time to figure exactly where I was headed in life. It was not an easy decision to make, taking a step back to focus on things I felt were more important.
If you are someone who cannot help blaming yourself for something that has gone terribly out of your control, let this be the day that you decide to not give failures too much power over your mental and emotional health. Just take some time off to heal and tell yourself that tomorrow is another day you get to prove yourself.
Take care of yourself, will you?
Cheerio! Xx
Hey guys! For day 28, I wrote about why I am grateful that I can cut myself some slack. It’s something incredibly important, and a lot of us fail to realize that. Let me know what you think in the comments below. You can also contact me on my Instagram. I’ll look forward to hearing from you.
Yours truly,
The Shubhster.
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