A friend of mine was telling me yesterday how one of his friends is always thrown under the bus by people she calls her ‘best friends‘. And this obviously shocked me because none of my friends, let alone close friends, would ever do that to me. Friendships to me are sacred. So the very thought of somebody blaming their friend on purpose is just unsettling.
ALSO READ: When Do You Let Go of a Friendship?
And let me tell you something that I tell everybody in my life: you cannot let people walk all over you and forgive them for it. You might call it being the bigger person, but what about your relationship with yourself? Toxic friendships might not bother you, but they should.
ALSO READ: The Most Important Relationship.
Don’t let anyone leave you doubting your self-worth. You’re too good for that. So when you come across these kinds of friendships that don’t look like a big deal to you on the outside, look again. They’re not good for your mental health at all!
1. The Naysayer.
I don’t care how much you tell me that this is the ‘rational’ friend who tries to show you why you should consider the cons of any kind of situation. If they keep trying to tell you that you can’t do something, on a regular basis, you need to dump them. They will try and project their insecurities and failures on your success and hold you back. But don’t let anybody do that to you. Fly high, my butterfly!
2. The Debbie Downer.
This is the kind of friend that we know all too well! While teasing and pulling each other’s legs is completely normal in a friendship, poking fun at your insecurities and trying to make you feel as if you’re not good enough is not! It’s a red flag of all kinds. The minute your ‘friend‘ starts putting you down for the things you like or starts joking about something that they know will hurt you, they need to go!
3. The Gossip Girl (or Guy, whatever, okay?)
Ah, this is the one who will put on the most pious, sweetest face in front of you. They’re practically an angel when they’re talking to you. It would seem as though there is nobody who can understand you better. But they talk a great deal of crap behind your back. Tell me honestly, why would you even want to keep such a person around in your life? It’s just so toxic. Ew.
4. The Entitled Brat.
This is the kind of person who will assure you that you’re their friend but will time and again give you all the valid reasons in the world to dump their ass. Remember this: you do not owe anyone anything if you don’t want to. So, if your friend tries to make you feel bad about something you can’t help, or think that it’s okay to treat you like an errand-rat, they need to go!
5. The Ungrateful.
Look, if they cannot appreciate your existence in their life, they have to go. Plain and simple. You cannot let anybody take you for granted. It’s not that you’re not good enough to stand up to them, it’s that you allow them to take you for granted because you’re too scared to lose a friend. But tell me, is losing such a toxic friendship an actual loss at all?
Long story short, do not let anybody make you feel like you don’t matter. If a friendship is draining you mentally, it is completely okay to step away for the sake of your peace of mind. It’s not selfish. You owe yourself that much, at the very least.
Now go take out the trash!
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