Often, we don’t realize the toll that certain relationships in our life can take on us— whether it’s on our physical, mental or emotional health. There are times when we truly believe that we don’t truly need some things in our lives to be happy; we might end up regretting this decision, in hindsight.
Most importantly, we don’t see what it’s doing to our self-worth. To our self-love. And by the time we realize it, we have already left things that we actually hold the closest to our hearts behind. But the good news is, you can always go back to embracing what matters most.
You know that old Miley Cyrus song? The one that went, “You can change your hair, and you can change your clothes. You can change your mind, that’s just the way it goes. You can say goodbye and you can say hello, but you’ll always find your way back home”? It’s true. No matter how far or for how long you’ve gone astray, you’ll find your way back to what matters most.
But before you can do that, it’s time for you to sit and analyze these 5 signs that are clearly asking you to let go and love yourself:
Sign #1: You find yourself conforming more than you’d like.
The very first sign of you leaving things behind and drifting further and further away from loving yourself is by trying to fit in everywhere. Let me tell you something: people are always going to try to crush you under the weight of all of their expectations. But the more you change yourself to fit into someplace that you’re simply passing through, you’re going to end up not recognizing the person you’ve become in the process. Don’t give up your identity just because you want to be part of the crowd; you’ll end up losing yourself. Let go of the false pretences you keep up for people you won’t even talk to in a few years. Be your true self, even if you’re different. Especially if you’re different.
Sign #2: You just cannot take a risk anymore.
Remember a time when you would do spontaneously crazy things? When you would make decisions at the snap of a finger because you thought taking a risk would be worth a shot? Where did that person go? And don’t tell me that you learnt to be ‘more practical‘. Say that you’re chicken! Because you aren’t ready to take a leap of faith anymore, you’re settling for less. And by less, I mean way less than you deserve! How do you think that’s fair to you? Let go of the fear and just jump. Believe in yourself a little more. You got this!
Sign #3: You’ve stopped doing what you love the most.
Whatever that is, or should I say ‘used to be’? Do you remember that thing you liked doing because it made you feel like you could express yourself much better? Why did you stop doing it? Why are you bottling up all that energy inside? You know what happens when you try to contain excessive energy in a container that simply cannot hold all of it? The container explodes. Trust me. It’s not pretty and you don’t want to do that to yourself. Give all of your energy a meaningful outlet. It’s a part of you, but you cannot hold it all in.
Sign #4: You find yourself thinking about everyone but yourself.
Not exactly a bad thing to do. But like everything in this world, love, no matter how platonic, demands a delicate balance. For every person you love in this world, you need to love yourself enough to know what you deserve. Don’t hold on to toxic relationships just because you’re afraid of losing what you have. Stop taking up everybody’s drama on your plate when you have your own drama to deal with. Nobody ‘completes’ you! You’re a complete individual yourself. So stop saying ‘Yes’ to things you’ve got absolutely no time for and start saying ‘Yes’ to yourself more.
Sign #5: You’re stuck doing something that doesn’t make you happy anymore.
Maybe you thought that this was where you belonged, once upon a time. And you know what, maybe you did! But as time passes by, people change. The way we think changes. Our needs change. So what made you happy once, doesn’t anymore because you have different priorities now. You have different dreams now. And it’s nobody’s fault. Holding on to something that doesn’t make you happy anymore simply doesn’t do justice to what you’re doing or you, for that matter. Learn to let go and do some soul-searching to understand what makes your present self happy.
If you ever need to take a break to do some reality check done for yourself, do it. I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again, but mental health is no joke. Loving yourself is one of the best things you’ll ever be able to do for yourself, and it’s as messy as it is liberating. If you put in the effort, I don’t see why you can’t make it past whatever made you lose sight of yourself in the first place.
Pack your bags, losers! We’re going soul-searching!
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