I know how it is. I know how bad it can get on certain days. There are days when you don’t feel so terrible about yourself, and then there are days when all you want to do is put on a mask and hope you never have to show your face to the world ever again.
And how do I know this? It’s because I’ve been where you are right now; all the ups and downs, I’ve been there. And all I have to tell you is that it’s okay to feel for others what you cannot feel for yourself. It doesn’t make you any less worthy of love.
I know that thousands of quotes on the internet will try to tell you that no one will love you unless you learn to love yourself, or some other version of the same. But that’s not true! Loving yourself is not an easy task, and if you’re trying to do that in spite of all kinds of hard days, you get points for effort.
Everyone’s journey, everyone’s battle with self-love is different. So, there’s no way I can compare my experience with embracing myself to yours because they’re two totally different stories. But how different are they really if the bottom line is that we both struggled to accept and love ourselves for who we are, at some point in our lives?
People around you will try to cheer you up by telling you that you’re beautiful, talented, brilliant— all those things. But how many times have you caught yourself wondering about why you aren’t able to look at yourself the same way the rest of the world does? Because every time you step out of the house, you feel as if the world is mocking you silently.
The truth is that no one has that kind of time. They’ll probably look at you for a few seconds and then forget all about it as soon as you’re out of their eyesight. And accepting that can be really hard, so I get why you feel so conscious stepping out.
But amidst all the self-loathing, I really have to ask you this: was it worth it? Was hating yourself to the point of not wanting to experience some of the really good things in life worth it? I regret letting a lot of things pass by just because I couldn’t muster up enough self-love to go through with them.
I don’t have more than ten photos from my schooldays. I missed out on events and didn’t really socialize too much. All because I hated the way I looked and I didn’t want to be seen with the girls that puberty had been kinder to. I never was the conventional definition of beautiful, and I don’t think I’ll ever be that.
But what I do know is that I’m a lot more than that. You are a lot more than the things holding you back. Funny thing is, a lot of us think that hating ourselves is a part of who we really are; it’s just keeping us from being the people we’re really supposed to be.
Don’t let your life go by. Don’t miss out on all the wonderful things that life has to offer just because you think you’re not worthy of them. You are! That person you look at when you see the mirror every day is a warrior. What makes you think you’re going to lose the battle? You are only fighting yourself, after all. And you are so much stronger than you think.
I know that right now, it all seems meaningless. It probably feels as though there’s no light at the end of this tunnel of self-loathing. But there is And the day you start loving yourself is the day you’re finally going to see what an amazing person you are. And you’re going to love the changes that loving yourself will bring your way.
If you aren’t there yet, don’t worry. It just means that you’re still on the journey. Some of you might take a jet, others might take a car, and some others will walk. Either way, it’s going to feel so good when you finally make the destination.
I believe in all of you. If I can, so can you.
Someone who has been in your shoes. Xx